So hubby is away and yet life must go on. So last night I tried to go out and do something just for me, it would have been pure indulgence in that I was meeting up with some people from church to try and talk through some stuff from my past and to lay some of it to rest. It was time to forget about being a Mummy and just be me, it was time to focus on what my needs were rather than those of my little girl.
The babysitter came, we had dinner then I bathed Naomi and put her down to sleep. She was asleep for about 25 minutes before I walked out the door. I had an ominous feeling though.
I had been out for about an hour when the babysitter rang, she was crying and had been since not long after I left. Clearly, I came back home. I have now managed to settle my child, though experience tells me I have a pretty awful night ahead of me, as Naomi is likely to wake quite often in an attempt to make sure I am still around, or perhaps to punish me for going out in the first place!
How do you feel about babysitters though? I feel very mixed about them, on the one hand I think it is reasonable and healthy to need and want time away from the baby and to do things that aren't completely focused on being a parent. On the other hand, I think it is perfectly reasonable for my baby at not quite 6 months old to expect her Mummy to be there when she needs her. I think it reasonable that she won't settle for someone she doesn't know very well (which unfortunately includes grandparents, seeing as we live so far from family).
The night before last I went out and left Naomi with a babysitter and she didn't wake once, last night she woke almost immediately on my leaving*. Should I have stayed at home? Should I have waited for night her Dad was here? Do I only feel guilty because it went "wrong"? Or should I feel guilty anyway?
Naomi is a good wee girl, I hate the idea that I caused her to be upset but maybe it is a life lesson she just needs to learn?...
*This makes it sound like we leave her often, in fact this was only the 5th time she has ever been left with anyone other than Mummy or Daddy, ever.
Showing posts with label Dads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dads. Show all posts
Wednesday, 13 July 2011
Friday, 8 July 2011
Well that has been a terrible day
Today went badly. It might be the worst day I can remember since I became a mummy.
We started with vomiting which meant that we had to cancel the coffee with another mummy friend and baby group, having just got her over a viral gastroenteritis I didn't feel it would be wise to start turning up to places with babies. After the weekend we had last weekend, it also meant a trip to the doctor, mainly to put my mind at ease.
The day continued with a complete and utter disregard for napping, at 12 noon I made her nap by putting her in the sling, but this left me attached to her and meant I could do none of the things on my to-do list (one of which was drink water, though I forgot to do that rather than being quite that disabled) and meant I got very little rest even when I was sitting down. She woke at about 1pm which meant that having woken at 8am and being only 5 months old she had already not napped enough.
Come 2.30 she was knackered again, so despite it not being that long I start the process of getting my very tired baby to nap, though apparently it is not as easy to do that as you might like. I tried for 2 hours before I gave up, although in that 2 hours I shed many tears and got frustrated with everything. In the morning she had been sick on her pram and because she hadn't napped in her cot in the morning I had been unable to "deal" with that, so I couldn't even fall back on my take-her-for-a-walk-in-the-pram back up napping technique. I cried down the phone at my Mum, I texted my husband who was in meetings most of the afternoon, I complained on twitter then wished I hadn't for people didn't say *exactly* what I wanted them too (I don't know what I wanted them to say, mind you, and having reviewed the responses they were all completely appropriate! I complained on facebook. At times I put her down in her cot, came downstairs and cried as I listened to her cry through the monitor. At times I tried to comfort her with a cuddle or with her dummy.
In the end, my husband finished his meetings and phoned me, he was coming home (I love my husband's job, super-flexible doesn't even describe how flexible it is!), all I had to do was survive another 20 minutes and he would be here to help.
When he got home, everything got a little easier and everything certainly felt much easier. What a shame that he leaves for Dublin on Monday where he will be working for 6 days :-(
We started with vomiting which meant that we had to cancel the coffee with another mummy friend and baby group, having just got her over a viral gastroenteritis I didn't feel it would be wise to start turning up to places with babies. After the weekend we had last weekend, it also meant a trip to the doctor, mainly to put my mind at ease.
The day continued with a complete and utter disregard for napping, at 12 noon I made her nap by putting her in the sling, but this left me attached to her and meant I could do none of the things on my to-do list (one of which was drink water, though I forgot to do that rather than being quite that disabled) and meant I got very little rest even when I was sitting down. She woke at about 1pm which meant that having woken at 8am and being only 5 months old she had already not napped enough.
Come 2.30 she was knackered again, so despite it not being that long I start the process of getting my very tired baby to nap, though apparently it is not as easy to do that as you might like. I tried for 2 hours before I gave up, although in that 2 hours I shed many tears and got frustrated with everything. In the morning she had been sick on her pram and because she hadn't napped in her cot in the morning I had been unable to "deal" with that, so I couldn't even fall back on my take-her-for-a-walk-in-the-pram back up napping technique. I cried down the phone at my Mum, I texted my husband who was in meetings most of the afternoon, I complained on twitter then wished I hadn't for people didn't say *exactly* what I wanted them too (I don't know what I wanted them to say, mind you, and having reviewed the responses they were all completely appropriate! I complained on facebook. At times I put her down in her cot, came downstairs and cried as I listened to her cry through the monitor. At times I tried to comfort her with a cuddle or with her dummy.
In the end, my husband finished his meetings and phoned me, he was coming home (I love my husband's job, super-flexible doesn't even describe how flexible it is!), all I had to do was survive another 20 minutes and he would be here to help.
When he got home, everything got a little easier and everything certainly felt much easier. What a shame that he leaves for Dublin on Monday where he will be working for 6 days :-(
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
No sooner had I come back....
...as I was gone! My baby girl was sick (see previous post), my husband then got sick, I then got sick! Before I knew it we were all lying on the floor (quite literally) and no-one could move and no-one could keep their food down!
The sickness seems to have largely passed, though I as the last to get ill was the first to get better (I think that comes with being a Mum?) and my husband, although much better and back at work today, is not quite right either and I thought Naomi was better but today she showed us all what she thought of sweet potato by being sick in such a way it landed in her own eye! (Does it make me cruel that (after I cleaned her up) I laughed about this?)
It really has made me realise how, as mums, we really do just have to keep going. My husband would take himself off to bed but I still was required to make milk. Come bedtime, too, it was mummy that was expected to continue rocking her to sleep, even though 10 minutes before we had opted for a sponge down rather than a bath as Mummy didn't have the energy to pick the baby up, let alone suspend her in water!
It has really hit home to me that my next holiday will be in about 18 years, assuming I don't have any more children, which, actually, despite it all, I do!!
The sickness seems to have largely passed, though I as the last to get ill was the first to get better (I think that comes with being a Mum?) and my husband, although much better and back at work today, is not quite right either and I thought Naomi was better but today she showed us all what she thought of sweet potato by being sick in such a way it landed in her own eye! (Does it make me cruel that (after I cleaned her up) I laughed about this?)
It really has made me realise how, as mums, we really do just have to keep going. My husband would take himself off to bed but I still was required to make milk. Come bedtime, too, it was mummy that was expected to continue rocking her to sleep, even though 10 minutes before we had opted for a sponge down rather than a bath as Mummy didn't have the energy to pick the baby up, let alone suspend her in water!
It has really hit home to me that my next holiday will be in about 18 years, assuming I don't have any more children, which, actually, despite it all, I do!!
Saturday, 4 June 2011
Fathers' Day
First, because grammar (although I don't always get it right) matters to me, I am never sure whether it should be Father's or Fathers' day, is it the day of your father or the day of many fathers? I tend to go with Fathers' Day but if you happen to know which is correct I would be fascinated to find out!
Anyway, here in the UK it will be Fathers' Day in just a little over a fortnight. It will be my husband's first fathers' day since becoming a Daddy. I have organised a gift for him (I shan't say what it is in case he stumbles onto my blog!) and today Naomi "helped" me buy a card for him by looking at all the possibilities before I picked the one that made her cry the least (it has been a long day!).
It got me thinking though, when it was Mothers' Day a few weeks back it was so important to me that my husband not forget that I got his sister to remind him to get something! Generally though, I think Daddies are pretty good at remembering, and generally fuss is made over Mums. At my church we had a cream tea for all the ladies with homemade scones for all who came to the service that day, served to them, of course, by the men. We spoke out loud of all the things that we loved about our Mummies and the children's activities resulted in a gift for their Mum to take home.
Will the same be done for Daddies though? it is my opinion that they tend to get a bit of a raw deal here. Yes Fathers' Day (and Mothers' Day) are hugely commercial and really only kept going by people who make and sell cards, but why shouldn't we make a fuss over the Dads and dad-figures in our lives? Without my husband, Naomi would have no toy box, no shelves and come to thnk of it no cot. Without my husband Naomi wouldn't have learned that one of her favourite foods is broccoli as I was going to save that for when she was "older" and without my husband Naomi would know nothing of the amazing fun that can be had in the bath, as for me it is more a process of function rather than play.
Without my Daddy I wouldn't know of God and how much He loves me. Without my Daddy I would know nothing of working hard for what you have and without my Daddy I wouldn't know what it mean to keep going, no matter what because there are good times ahead.
So, are you doing anything for your Dad or your children's dads this Fathers' Day? Go on, you know you want to!
Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos
Anyway, here in the UK it will be Fathers' Day in just a little over a fortnight. It will be my husband's first fathers' day since becoming a Daddy. I have organised a gift for him (I shan't say what it is in case he stumbles onto my blog!) and today Naomi "helped" me buy a card for him by looking at all the possibilities before I picked the one that made her cry the least (it has been a long day!).
It got me thinking though, when it was Mothers' Day a few weeks back it was so important to me that my husband not forget that I got his sister to remind him to get something! Generally though, I think Daddies are pretty good at remembering, and generally fuss is made over Mums. At my church we had a cream tea for all the ladies with homemade scones for all who came to the service that day, served to them, of course, by the men. We spoke out loud of all the things that we loved about our Mummies and the children's activities resulted in a gift for their Mum to take home.
Will the same be done for Daddies though? it is my opinion that they tend to get a bit of a raw deal here. Yes Fathers' Day (and Mothers' Day) are hugely commercial and really only kept going by people who make and sell cards, but why shouldn't we make a fuss over the Dads and dad-figures in our lives? Without my husband, Naomi would have no toy box, no shelves and come to thnk of it no cot. Without my husband Naomi wouldn't have learned that one of her favourite foods is broccoli as I was going to save that for when she was "older" and without my husband Naomi would know nothing of the amazing fun that can be had in the bath, as for me it is more a process of function rather than play.
Without my Daddy I wouldn't know of God and how much He loves me. Without my Daddy I would know nothing of working hard for what you have and without my Daddy I wouldn't know what it mean to keep going, no matter what because there are good times ahead.
So, are you doing anything for your Dad or your children's dads this Fathers' Day? Go on, you know you want to!
Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos
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