Thursday, 14 July 2011

An unexpected hazard of being a stay at home Mum

As you can read about here (if you so desire) my husband and I have very consciously made the decision that I will be a stay at home Mum.  I won't be going out to work and I will be in charge of bringing up Naomi (and any others that may follow).  This has obvious challenges to do with finances and to do with my sense of identity and most of them we saw coming.

In the last few days though I have become aware of another challenge though, one that I hadn't seen coming, one that has taken me by surprise.

When Naomi was born I set about taking her to all sorts of baby groups, she loves being able to play and I love being able to meet other people.  I got on really well with many of the other Mums and it was great to have some peers in real life who were going through similar things to me.

The thing is though, now that Naomi is 6 months old, many of the people who I got to know and enjoyed hanging out with are returning to work.  And because I didn't see it coming, I haven't made enough effort to get mobile numbers and to get in the habit of meeting with outside of group times, because I didn't notice or realise that I would need to.

Slowly but surely, my support network is dwindling because now-a-days being a stay at home Mum, at least being a full time stay at home Mum is not the norm.

I feel really sad, for losing my support and also for the number of people who say "I wish I could be a stay at home Mum", these people feel pressured into doing something they would rather not, and that makes me sad too.

I guess next time I make a round of friends with babies, I'll need to make sure I try harder to make "better" relationships more quickly, so they will stand the test of returning to work.

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