Surviving...just.

So, what every pregnant, Mum of two dealing with the summer holidays needs is to injure her back, right? Wrong! But that is what I have managed to do.  Still though, the children need entertaining and I'm doing my best.

Yesterday was a bit of a non-event. I largely plonked them in front of the telly, which I don't really mind per se but I paid the price in terms of behaviour later in the day :-(

We did find the energy to play with the doll's house though,

And we did have a picnic snack (complete with friend)

N and her friend made bracelets to wear with the beads I bought her for filing her reward jar.

Today has been a little more thought out and so this morning I took them to a brilliant church cafe where they stick out a heap of toys/dressing up things/books for children

Here is M with a dinasaur

"Rarrrrrrrr"

 This afternoon I borrowed a friend's copy of Frozen and while M was napping I let N watch it for only the second time.  She actually cried when Anna gets frozen at the end and I did have to make sure she new it was make believe when the mountain troll thing was doing it's thing.  I think she was actually scared.

Then N wanted to go out on her bike, I really was struggling but it is supposed to be raining for the next several days so I figured I ought to make the effort.

So here we are biking

And here we are at the park we cycled to

M came too!

I kind of feel like I am flagging a bit so soon I might break out one of a handful of activities we will do this summer that cost money!

How are you all getting on?

So grateful

Today I hold my little girl tight and I cry, they are tears of joy for what I have and tears of sadness for my friend who is today having a medical miscarriage because her baby will not be able to survive and will put her own health at risk.

I waited such a long time for my chance to be a Mum, but not because of infertility (which my friend also knows about, this is an IVF miracle baby) and not because of loss, I am very blessed to have fallen pregnant on my third cycle of trying and have carried my first ever baby to full term, my wait was because of my own illhealth.

Therefore I just can't imagine that pain, the suffering that must come with losing your child.

Today I just weep, for what my friend has lost and what I have gained even though I do not deserve it.

I thank God (quite, quite literally) for her and for all she is, even at 3am!

an older picture of Naomi, but still one of my favourites.

The things everybody assumes you know...

I remember a long time ago, before I was even pregnant with Naomi, sitting and chatting with one of my friends.  We were talking about the fact that because all my friends had babies they assumed that I knew things about pregnancy/giving birth/being a Mum that I just didn't.  She said, "oh yes, I remember I found out about the post-pregnancy bleeding that way, I was already pregnant but I wasn't sure I wanted to be any more".  My face fell.  "Post-pregnancy bleed? What bleed?"

This was my first major introduction to the topic of things everyone assumes that all (want to be) pregnant people and new mums know.  I didn't know about the bleed (which in my case lasted 9 weeks!!) and I didn't know that it was quite normal to throw up in labour and I didn't know that it was quite normal to be constipated for most of your pregnancy and then much of the first few weeks after birth.

My biggest complaint at the moment, though, is that I didn't know about the hair loss!!!

I washed my hair this morning, after this I brushed it, here is a before and after shot of my hair brush.

I now realise that this is just what happens at the end of being pregnant, you lose all the hair you didn't lose for those 9 months and so it isn't unreasonable - but my whole house and baby and self is covered in hair that I am losing.  I'm not sure how I haven't gone bald yet! How much longer can this last for?!

And always, in the back of my mind, I am wondering, what else don't I know about?!