Monday, 18 November 2013

You know you are a parent to two toddlers when...

Miriam is desperately close to toddling and much of her behaviour is already morphing into toddler type stuff so here is my list of ways you know you have two (or more) toddlers in the house.

1.  Phrases like "Don't use your sister as a pillow" just slide off the tongue and don't seem particularly odd.

2.  You have seriously considered installing a button you can push that would just say "be gentle", "be kind" and "leave her alone" so you didn't have to say them constantly, all day, every day.

3.  The very idea of trying to teach your children to share sends shivers down your spine, you know you need to but have considered that it might be easier just to buy two of everything.

4.  Your children are growing so fast that it is impossible to keep them in clothes that actually fit.  As a result they wear 3/4 length trousers all year round and dresses stop only just below the buttocks despite this not having been your intention.

5.  Despite the fact you buy them EVERY single time you venture near a supermarket, you never have enough bananas in the house.  Or milk.

6.  You have considered a career change to police negotiator as even securing the release of hostages must be easier than persuading your children to wear a coat on a cold day or to eat their green beans.

7.  The sound of silence causes you to be more afraid than words can convey.  Just what are they getting up to...

8.  If your child spontaneously says please or thank you you feel a simultaneous sense of pride and a wondering of why they never do that for you...

9.  You constantly wonder just how bad your cauliflower cheese must taste that it will be refused but mud and sticks will be eaten while playing outside.

10.  You love your children more than words could express but this is easiest to remember when you are standing in their room, just before you go to bed, watching them sleep.

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